Not only does this douche look like a dumbass, but he obviously acts like a dumbass too. Penisface (see above) has seen his career spiral downward ever since he started broadcasting. He has gone from major networks such as Fox Sports, all the way down to MASN, the station that broadcasts the Washington Nationals games.
Look at what genius had to say about the only Nationals’ player that matters (Stephen Strasburg), “you can’t have the cavalry come in and save your butt every time you feel a little stiff shoulder, sore elbow.” Real smooth right? Wrong. He was promptly fired today for those stupid comments… actually, for all we know he may have been fired days ago. Those comments were made last week, but only about 7 people tune in to listen to anything having to do with the Nats, so the news took about a week to get to the rest of civilization.
Hours after MLB’s savior Stephen Strasburg announced that he was going to have good old Tommy John surgery on Friday, the Cincinnati Reds phenom pitcher Aroldis Chapman made his major league debut… and all I have to say is oh baby!
This Cuban, (who let’s face it, none of us will ever know his real age) can throw some smoke!! Topping out at 103 MPH and having 4 of his 8 total pitches hit triple digits, I’d say my homie Dusty Baker is still packing some hard lumber in his jock strap. Big Black Cubans don’t really do it for me though, I’d say something like this is more my style. What do you think?
Like a lot of people I know, I had absolutely no intention of watching the ESPY’s last night due to ESPN’s recent acts of disrespect to us like “The Decision”. However, as I was flipping through channels yesterday afternoon, I was quickly reminded that VYT.com correspondent Erin Andrews still works for ESPN and was at the ESPY’s. And then… Brooklyn Decker’s fine ass decided to show up on the red carpet without that douche bag Andy Roddick. I can’t believe I forgot to reply to her text to meet her at the Nokia Theatre in LA because she was flying solo! Dammit!
So here are the two beauties on the red carpet, both are looking damn good if I do say so myself. So the question now is, in the words of all those queers at TMZ.com, who would you rather?
Brace yourselves. Al Davis finally gave his take on the passing of the late great George Steinbrenner. Now we all know that this bastard is off his rocker and still believes he is the best owner in the NFL. But Al Davis might have lost a few more marbles today.
Here are some of Davis’ comments regarding George Steinbrenner. “We not only shared a birthday, but also an unyielding will to win and an unparalleled commitment to excellence.”
Hold on now, he is just unzipping his pants.
“I judge sports figures based on individual achievement, team achievement and contributions to the game,” Davis said. “George was right up there with me at No. 1 — bright, aggressive and, most of all, not afraid.”
Can you believe this guy?! Now that Steinbrenner has passed, Davis believes he is the #1 owner in sports?? The last time I checked, the Yankees win, and win a lot. The Raiders, well… don’t. They suck. They are actually regarded by many as the worst franchise in sports. Interesting. Doesn’t that usually start with the owner? Who knows? Maybe I’m just spinning my wheels here, but Al Davis should have died of a heart attack instead of George. God, you took the wrong #1.
Before I get to that 300 pounder the Dodgers call a closer, did ya’ll get a look at Marissa Miller during last night’s celebrity all-star game?? Whoa. Every chick that ever puts on a softball uniform, should have to look like that. Unbefuckinlievable.
Anyway, the NL finally won an All-Star thanks to a 3 run double by that fatass the Braves call a catcher, Brian McCann. Just kidding Brian, you are actually a bad ass catcher and you make me want to jump off a cliff every time I have to watch Russell Martin “catch” the sorry ass Dodgers. Russell Martin sucks by the way. A big one.
Back to Broxton, he came in and gave up a leadoff single to Big Papi on his first pitch. He then struck out Adrian Beltre (loser). Then came the play of the game (kind of) when John Buck bloops one to right and Marlon Byrd threw out Big Papi at second with a force play. Kinsler followed with a flyout to center to end the game. So the point of all of that crap, Broxton sucks when there is any kind of pressure on him. Sure he can pile up the saves during a way too long, meaningless 162 game season, but whether it’s the ASG, playoffs, or a series against the Yankees, he blows a fat one.
I’m getting way to pissed off about this right now, so here’s something that makes me feel better… every time. Marissa Miller. Again.
It looks like the dumbass big 3 in Miami will have to keep looking for another point guard because D-Fish is coming back to LA. He decided to take less money (Dr. Buss is a cheap ass) and stick with Kobe to make a run for a 6th title together. Derek Fisher posted updates throughout the day on his twitter account as did Kevin Durant last week. The Heat tried their best by throwing Pat Riley and Lebron James at Fisher to try and land him in South Beach, but in the end, Kobe won out.
It is being reported that it will be a 3 year deal and according to Fisher, it is not the “most lucrative”. D-Fish is a class act and I hope he and the Lakers man up for one more big title run next year… where they will play either the Celtics or Bulls in the NBA Finals. None of you really think the Heat will play for a title next year do you?
I have been listening the Eminem’s new album Recovery way too much, so in honor of Slim Shady, please allow me to drop a few f-bombs. Fuck Lebron James, fuck Dwayne Wade, fuck Chris Bosh, and fuck the Miami Heat.
Ahhhhhh, much better. I can’t believe the fiasco that LBJ put the world through by seeting up that bullshit “Decision” on ESPN. Oh yeah, fuck ESPN too for airing that nonsense. That shit was planned by the “big 3″ from the beginning. The funny thing is that even though all of the casual fans are jumping on the Heat bandwagon, the Heat will not get out of the Conference Finals next year. They still cannot beat Boston or Orlando for that matter.
There is one winner that comes out of this free agency show, that is the city Cleveland. Wait, what? Cleveland? Damn right. Why you ask? The have the best fucking owner in sports period. Dan Gilbert is the shit! Most people don’t know much about him, but wait until you read this open letter he wrote to the fans of Cleveland after Lebron announced he was going to South Beach. It is awesome!!!!
Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert
Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;
As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.
This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.
The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.
You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE”
You can take it to the bank.
If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.
This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.
The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Just watch.
Sleep well, Cleveland.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….
Did anyone expect anything less from JaMarcus Russell? This fatass is making the Raiders look even smarter for taking him as the first overall pick in the NFL Draft a few years ago. Over the weekend, Russell was arrested in Mobile, Alabama for possession of a controlled substance, codeine.
That’s how you get taken down JaMarcus? Cough syrup?
What if this beached whale just had a cold? He can’t just buy some over the counter Nyquil you know. He needs that shit to get into his blood stream asap. He needs to inject this stuff in order for it to do anything to his 380 lb frame.
Or he could have been using the cough syrup with codeine to make a little concoction athletes like to call “Purple Drank“. This tasty little treat is made with cough syrup, Sprite, and Jolly Ranchers. Wait, what? Could it be that Lamar Odom plays like shit have the time not because he just likes candy… maybe this is his pregame drink of choice? Sounds like a case for the VYT team to take on next! Stayed tuned!
All of the free agent buzz going on right now will mean absolutely nothing for the upcoming 2010-2011 season. Why? You guessed it, because Phil Jackson is coming back to the Los Angeles Lakers for one more season. Phil Jackson was the biggest acquisition that the Lakers could have made, and they are lucky he wants to come back. Now, Dr. Jerry Buss just has to man up and pay the man, I’m guessing in the $12-$16 million range.
The Lakers have the major pieces of their team returning next season, with the exception of Derek Fisher who has not yet been resigned. They will have to find a way to pick up another point guard this offseason, seeing how Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown may not be resigned.
Bottom line, Phil Jackson would not be coming back unless he knew he had a damn good chance at a fourth three peat!!
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